WhiteBoard News for Wednesday, September 08, 1999

Seattle, Washington (AP):

A fire-breathing woman danced topless on an electrical
tower beside a freeway bridge for more than an hour
this morning, snarling rush-hour traffic and forcing a
power outage to 5,000 homes and businesses.

The 37-year-old Olympia woman donned a halter top and
descended at the urging of police shortly before 9 a.m.
She was arrested for investigation of criminal trespass
and indecent exposure, police spokeswoman Carmen Best
said.

The woman was first reported at 7:26 a.m. on a tower
that carries electrical lines next to an interstate
bridge over the Lake Washington Ship Canal. Wearing
only shorts, she was gyrating, drinking vodka, spitting
the liquor out of her mouth and lighting it on fire,
Best said.

Seattle City Light cut power to protect the woman,
leaving 5,000 customers without electricity.
==========

Benton City, Washington (AP):

Lucky is a kitten with a very apt name.

The 6-week-old traveled 200 miles from Benton City to
Seattle tucked into a tiny space inside the front
bumper of Becki Pendell's Honda Civic.

Pendell didn't notice the little creature until a day
after she started the trip and heard a cat "screaming."
A friend reached under the bumper and pulled out Lucky.

"She looked healthy and everything, but she was just
kind of trembly," Pendell said. "She was a little weak.
She wasn't dirty, either."
==========

Sturbridge, Massachusetts (AP):

As Bill Emrich Jr. watched smoke billow from the
windows and chimney of the house he bought that very
day, a thought came to his mind: "Is my insurance
kicked in?"

Mercifully, it was.

On the day Emrich, an elementary school gym teacher,
closed the deal on a bigger house for his family, he
and his wife brought over their first loads of
furniture.

"I'm looking at people standing in the road. I thought,
`What are they going to do: stand around and watch us
move in?"' he said Tuesday.

That's when he saw the smoke. "It seemed like something
that almost couldn't be happening," he said. "The deal
is done, I'm barely in there ... and here the thing is
up in smoke."

Firefighters put out the fire, confining most damage to
a basement apartment where Emrich's mother-in-law is to
live. The fire started there at a stove burner that was
left on, Emrich said.
==========

Grand Island, Nebraska (AP):

Bonnie Gilpin's reluctance to throw anything away is
getting her in some legal trouble.

For years, the city has tried to get her to clean up a
house that she uses primarily for storage. She sleeps
elsewhere.

City officials had warned that debris, piled up to 5
feet high in some places and to the ceiling in others,
posed a risk of spontaneous combustion.

After a two-alarm fire caused more than $30,000 damage
in August, City Attorney Charlie Cuypers went to court
seeking permission to demolish the place.

On Tuesday, Gilpin submitted a clean-up plan, and the
city agreed to wait until Oct. 12 before taking any
further action. She also agreed to get a guardian to
help with her affliction for hoarding junk, said her
attorney, Sam Grimminger.
==========

Madrid, Spain (Reuters):

A Spanish man's desire for safe sex turned into an
embarrassing ordeal when his hand got stuck in a condom
vending machine for four hours.

After a long night on the town with his girlfriend,
unidentified 23-year-old man put some coins into a
condom machine outside a pharmacy on a popular beach in
Cadiz, southern Spain. When nothing came out, the man
pounded impatiently on the machine, then stuck his hand
in the opening to try to pull the condom package out.

Two of his fingers became caught inside. For the next
few hours he was the brunt of humiliating comments from
passers-by while he and his girlfriend tried
unsuccessfully to pry his hand loose, El Mundo
newspaper reported Tuesday.

The couple finally called firemen, who had to detach
the machine from the wall and bring it to the station -
with the man's fingers still inside - before they were
able to set him free sometime after dawn.
==========

Rid de Janeiro, Brazil (Nandotimes):

Nearly 100 prisoners escaped out the front door of
their jail after overpowering two people keeping an eye
on them - two janitors. The jailbreak in Rio de Janeiro
occurred Monday night when the two policemen on duty
were out to dinner, said police chief Carlos Heitor
Sanches.

"They weren't where they were supposed to be. They were
negligent in their duty," Sanches said.

The jail in the Bangu district on Rio's poor west side
held 168 detainees awaiting trial. Of the 93 who
escaped, nine have been recaptured, Sanches said.
===========

Wellington, New Zealand (Reuters):

It may not be socially acceptable, but passing gas is
good for your health, according to Australian corporate
nutrition consultant Matt O'Neill.

"Better an empty house than a bad tenant," said
O'Neill, in New Zealand to promote a national fit food
campaign run by health agencies.

O'Neill said that flatulence was so common for men it
was an effective icebreaker for them to discuss their
bodies and male health issues.

"If you ask people to count how often they pop off in a
day it would be double figures."

However O'Neill said men could help ease the stink from
their flatulence.

"If men eat more fiber they will be producing a lot of
hot air, and that's about it -- it won't be as smelly.
It's the pies, beer and steak that make the smelly
ones.
==========

Chow
SuperChef
WhiteBoard News Service Bureau Chef
www.joeha.com/whiteboard