WhiteBoard News for Monday, October 20, 2003

Bremen, Germany (Ananova):

Police in Germany are searching for a burglar who they say is the most stupid they have ever come across.

The unknown man broke into the building of a wood sales company in Bremen overnight.

Officers believe he initially broke open a coffee vending machine and destroyed most of it before discovering it took only tokens and there was no money inside.

A police spokesman said: "One might remark that this was written down on a large sign on the front of the machine, but then it was dark."

The burglar then stole a mobile phone, which only works in the grounds of the company, and a cordless screwdriver - but forgot the batteries and charger.

Finally, they say the intruder drank a can of coke that had been standing in one of the offices and was 12 months past its sell-by date.

Police are confident they will find the man soon, saying he should be easy to spot.

"He's the one who is stranded with a load of useless junk, looks tired, is sick to his stomach and is probably the laughing stock of all his mates," explained the police spokesman.
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Moscow, Russia (Ananova):

A man who bought a false passport to flee Russia got more than he bargained for after finding the paperwork belonged to a wanted murderer.

The 36-year-old man, named only as Arkadiy V for legal reasons, was arrested on suspicion of murder as he tried to cross the border into Latvia.

Arkadiy allegedly confessed to officers that he was not a Russian citizen and had wanted a Russian passport to get into Latvia easily.

According to local media, he bought the stolen passport on the black market in St Petersburg and put his own photo in, not knowing the passport originally belonged to a murder suspect.

He has been charged with presenting a false identity to state officials.
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Bad Woerrishofen, Germany (Ananova):

Screams from a German dentist's practice prompted a police search.

A woman called police after hearing somebody scream for help from a building in Bad Woerrishofen.

When officers searched the building, they found their way into a dentist's practice.

The doctor had left his window open while treating a ten-year-old boy.

It turned out the boy had been screaming for help at the top of his voice.

Police tried to calm down the patient, then left and let the dentist continue with his work.
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Dar es Salaam, Tanzania (Reuters):

A Tanzanian man cut off his genitals in an attempt to win sympathy from creditors after squandering their money on prostitutes and alcohol, a newspaper reported on Saturday. 

The 24-year-old reached the decision after realizing he could not pay back millions of shillings lent to him by friends and relatives to invest in a business venture. 

The Guardian newspaper said the man's condition was improving after he received treatment at his local hospital in the east African country's northern Manyara region. 

The report said it was the second such incident in the area in two months. Another man slashed off his genitals upon failing to settle a 300,000 shilling ($287) debt. 
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Sydney, Australia (reuters):

An Australian woman got the shock of her life when she gave birth to a healthy baby boy just three hours after learning she had been pregnant for nine months. 

Carolyn Hounsell, 27, went to her doctor with stomach pains and was admitted to hospital, The Daily Telegraph reported on Saturday. A few hours later, the care worker said she got "a very big shock" when she delivered a 3.6 kilogram boy. 

"I'd had some indigestion," Hounsell said, according to the newspaper. 

"They sent me off for an ultrasound, which told them I was at 37 weeks. The cramping I'd had were contractions," she said. 

Hounsell had tried unsuccessfully to conceive in the past. 

Her husband Dennis Ross, 44, had been told he could not father children after a car accident two-and-a-half years earlier. 

"He's a good size. It makes you wonder where I could hide it. My boss was very surprised but not quite as surprised as I was," Hounsell was quoted as saying. 
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