WhiteBoard News for Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Nairobi, Kenya (Reuters):

A Kenyan man chopped off one of his testicles in a row with his wife and then walked naked to a police station to report the incident, police said on Monday. 

Police rushed 26-year-old Stephen Ongala to hospital after he stumbled into their police station in the border town of Busia in western Kenya on Friday bleeding heavily. 

"He said he did it because he had had a disagreement with his wife," said deputy police chief Shadrack Maithya. "If we get evidence that he tried to take his life, then we may charge him because it is a criminal offence." 
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Naples, Florida (Naples Daily News):

When he spotted the two men coming out of the darkness toward his car, the driver unlocked the doors.

Thinking the car was their ride out of Naples, the men got into the Ford Taurus. Then they got a look at the guy behind the wheel. 

He wore a badge and gun and was looking for burglars. They wore black clothes _ and they were the burglars.

Collier sheriff's Sgt. Robert Maxfield's two passengers ran away. But he caught one of them, Dale McClain, who is now facing burglary charges in connection with a break-in.
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Columbia City, Indiana (Ananova):

A US judge is letting minor traffic offenders off without a fine - if they stand up in court and sing a Christmas carol.

Columbia City Judge Tom DuBois offers offending motorists the festive amnesty each Christmas, reports the Tennessean.

The newspaper says the court has so far this year reverberated with versions of Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

Judge DuBois said: "Some people need a little help with their tunes. So we sometimes have duets and trios, even quartets.

"And our court officer, Kenny Lovett, sometimes helps people out. He sings in his church choir."
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Longmont, Colorado (AP):

Gary and Karri Clark haven't forgotten their second Christmas together. He knew she wanted bathroom accessories, so he wrapped up a couple of gifts and waited. 

The toilet seat and towel rack didn't go over too well. 

"Here I thought I was doing good," he recalled with a laugh. "It was something she can always use, day after day. It's the gift that keeps on giving." 

The Clarks were among those who responded to requests by the Daily Times-Call newspaper to share their stories about bungled gifts and best intentions _ the waffle makers, blenders and vacuum cleaners given with love and practicality in mind that will never be forgotten or forgiven. 

Karri Clark admits she wanted a new toilet seat a decade ago because there was a crack in the old one. She just didn't think she'd get one gift wrapped. 

"I could not believe it," she said. "What man gives you a toilet seat for Christmas?" 

Stan Stanley said he learned his lesson about practical gifts in the early 1980s after presenting his wife with a garage door opener one Christmas. There was no entrance from the garage into the house, a source of irritation for Connie Stanley. 

"I was so excited about opening it. I had no idea what it was," she said. After 57 years of marriage, she said, she has to forgive Stan when he makes a mistake like that. 

Tom Tinkle remembers giving his wife a birthday blender and how she did a wonderful job of oohing and aahing before setting the box aside. When she finally took the blender out of the box, she discovered a sapphire bracelet slipped inside. 

"It was a surprise for her and possibly made her rethink her opinions of her doofus husband giving her a bonehead blender for a gift," Tinkle said. 

Gary Clark admits his bathroom gifts were out of desperation: It was Christmas Eve, he was at Kmart and he couldn't think of what to buy his wife. 

"She wanted it, but not for Christmas," he said. Since then, he's done better: His wife received a Ford Explorer for her birthday this year. 
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Bremen, Germany (Independent Online):

Germany has only a small amount of its own natural oil reserves, but an enterprising power plant chief believes it has found an alternative source of energy with a bright future in an ageing nation - used incontinence pads.

"It's an environmentally friendly source of energy," said Thomas Lesche, director of a Bremen incinerator plant that has signed a pioneering deal with a local retirement home to buy up 100 tons of used pads and soiled tissues each year.

"The pollution emissions with used pads are far lower than with oil or coal," added Lesche, who said he did not know of any other plant in Europe that turns incontinence pads into energy. "The content of nappies provide a great source of energy. The demand for used incontinence materials will grow in the future."

Lesche said the used pads may not be quite as good a source of energy as conventional fossil fuels such as oil, but he added they were nearly as efficient a source of energy as lignite, a softer coal with a higher water content.

"On top of that, it's much better for the environment to turn the waste into energy by incinerating it than leaving the pads to rot," Lesche said, "It's a sensible way to save natural resources."
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Harrison, Arkansas (WFTV.com):

A farmer whose arm was torn off in a tractor accident picked up the limb, climbed back on and headed for home to get help.

"What was I supposed to do? Lie there and die?" James Arlen Mondy's wife quoted him as saying. 

Doctors at St. John's Regional Health Center in Springfield, Mo., were unable to reattach his arm after the Dec. 16 accident. He was recovering at the hospital Tuesday.

Mondy, 56, was bumped off his tractor when it hit a hole, said his wife, Janet Mondy. The spinning blades of a brush cutter then chopped off his arm at the shoulder.

On his ride home, he had to stop to open a gate, drove through, then got off the tractor again to close the gate, and continued on his way. He started to feel lightheaded, but met a passing couple who summoned help.
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Tokyo, Japan (AP):

A man who wanted to share his stock market winnings with the public tossed $9,350 worth of U.S. dollar and yen bills from the observation deck of a tower in central Japan on Tuesday, causing a scramble for the money in the streets below.

The unidentified man grabbed wads of $1 and 100-yen bills from two shopping bags and threw them through an open window of the room at the TV Tower in Nagoya. The room is 330 feet above the street.

The money rained down on the sidewalks and streets, where people chased the wind-blown bills. The 100-yen bill is no longer in circulation.

Afterward, the man told NHK television that he wanted to give away some of his profits from playing the stock market earlier this month.

"I have too much money. I don't need it," he said. "I wanted to give some back to the world."

Aichi prefecture police official Tatsuyuki Satomi said none of the bills appeared to be counterfeited. The 26-year-old man, who is unemployed, didn't break any laws, he added.

Nagoya, Japan's fourth-largest city, is located 168 miles west of Tokyo. 
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