WhiteBoard News for Saturday, April 26, 2003

New York, New York (Reuters):

"We strive for perfection but when you're typing that fast, there are occasional mistakes. We regret the error." 

ABC News' Cathie Levine after a closed caption for an ABC News' Tuesday broadcast said Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan was hospitalized for "an enlarged prostitute" instead of an enlarged prostate, quoted in The Washington Post. 
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"He should be so lucky." 

Greenspan's wife, NBC News correspondent Andrea Mitchell, reacting to the "enlarged prostitute" in the Post. 
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North Port, Florida (AP):

A Florida woman has been charged with stabbing her 19-year-old son in the buttocks because he wouldn't get up for work.

Sara Hazeltine, 45, told police she hadn't realised she had thrown a 12-inch blade at him.

She was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after the incident in North Port.

Hazeltine said she grabbed some things off his dressing table, including a money box and some CDs, and threw them on the bed to wake him up.

"It was dark and I threw a couple of things in the room, not realising I had picked up a knife. I had no idea that he even had any weapons in his room. I try to avoid the room, I just shut the door," she said.

But Mustelier told police his mother grabbed the knife from a wall, where it was on display with other weapons including bows and arrows, and stabbed him.

Paramedics treated Mustelier for a cut to his right buttock. He was treated at a local hospital and released and is now staying with relatives.
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Mount Everest (Ananova):

A pair of British climbers are claiming a world record for high-altitude ironing, after they pressed a Union flag 17,800ft up Mount Everest.

John Roberts and Ben Gibbons jumped a queue of international teams awaiting permission to climb the world's highest peak, after pressing shirts for members of the Indian Army at base camp.

Mr Roberts, 35, an antiques dealer, and Mr Gibbons, 22, a heating system designer, both from Cheltenham, are now waiting to see how long their mark lasts.

Another British team will attempt to use their iron further up Everest later this month.

Mr Roberts told The Times: "We trekked for 17 days to get to base camp with Ben carrying the ironing board on his back.

"There were 35 teams waiting to climb to the summit. The day after we got to base camp, we climbed for an hour and then ironed our Union Jack, beating the 4,100m record set by a Swiss man in the Alps.

"We felt so privileged. People don't usually get the chance to stay at Base Camp, let alone go above it. We only got the opportunity because of our ironing board."

Mr Gibbons added: "It was awkward carrying the board on my back all the way, but it was a great sense of achievement."

Britons have claimed world records for altitude, as well as depth - a team of divers ironed at a depth of 100m.

The sport was thought up in 1997 by a factory worker in Leicester who decided to combine his favourite activity of rock climbing with his least favourite, ironing.
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Scotia, New York (AP):

A 17-year-old goldfish can swim again thanks to a bunch of do-gooding humans. 

Customers at the Sky Port diner near Schenectady came up with the idea of a creating a fish sling after Dick the goldfish fell ill in November and had difficulty swimming. 

Patty Sherman, who owns the diner with her two sisters, Joanna Dewey and Mary Ann Parker, said Dick could barely move across the bottom of his fish tank located behind the counter. 

A customer whose daughter is studying to be a veterinarian had his daughter research fish ailments. She reported back that Dick was likely suffering from swim bladder disease and prescribed a diet of cooked peas to be hand fed to Dick three times a day, Sherman said. 

To remedy Dick's swimming problem, several customers devised a sling made up of fishing bobbers, drinking straws, gauze and string. When the 8-inch-long fish is placed in the sling, he's able to swim like normal. 

Sherman said customers find it relaxing to sit at the counter and watch Dick in his tank. 

"Everybody's rooting for him," she said Tuesday. "He's the topic of conversation at the Sky Port." 
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